By Gunarnava das ACBSP, Australia

(The following statement is drawn from Gunarnava Prabhu’s talk at the 50th Anniversary of the ISKCON Krishna Balaram Mandir at Vrindaban, …)

“…I was just preparing to lie down, when I suddenly heard “bang, bang, bang” on the door. …Brahmananda Maharaja (Prabhupada’s traveling secretary), who was a very big guy. … “Prabhupada wants to see you—immediately!”

… When I entered Srila Prabhupada’s big room, I positioned myself up against one of the walls. …Pradyumna … was sitting on the floor, Brahmananda was standing somewhat away, and Srila Prabhupada was shouting at the top of his voice while standing near Pradyumna.

Pradyumna sat with his head down, his complexion was white like a ghost, he looked terrified. …I was witnessing free flowing transcendental anger raining down. My heart was thumping, I felt afraid, it was so intense…and then the silence. The unspoken language, just as intense…

And it wasn’t over yet! This was Srila Prabhupada in “thunderbolt mood,” no rose, but pure mercy. I witnessed Srila Prabhupada shaking all over, his eyes looked as big as saucers. The room felt intensely surcharged, like you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. Prabhupada banged his fist on the table. I had never, ever experienced Srila Prabhupada in this kind of mood….

Srila Prabhupada actually said, “Do you know what I am, when I’m sitting early in the morning when you’re all sleeping? I am a dictaphone! I am Krishna’s dictaphone!” … “Krishna would also come and sit with me and tell me what to write.”

… I later learned that Srila Prabhupada’s Godbrother apparently asked him if he could borrow some of his books—his Bhagavad-gita and Srimad-Bhagavatam. Srila Prabhupada obliged.

…Then this Godbrother Purushottam das visited Srila Prabhupada one night and said “Srila Prabhupada, I’ve been reading your books, and I was going to suggest some changes.” …

…what became clear now was that Srila Prabhupada wanted his precious books back. My part to play came that day, the day after Purushottam’s visit. This was the source of the ongoing raging that I was witnessing.

It was then that I heard those words from Srila Prabhupada for the first time, “arsa-prayog.” Prabhupada loudly declared “You can never change the Acharya’s books—never!”

Srila Prabhupada was so upset that his books were being changed by his Godbrother, or at least, that there was even the idea of change. …

…The dissonance that I experienced in those moments became so explicitly clear to all who experienced it. Srila Prabhupada told us that he did not speak those divine words into the dictaphone; it was Supersoul, Lord Krishna giving him the words!

…Srila Prabhupada again began raging, “How dare they think they can change these books!”

On different occasions Srila Prabhupada would be asked “Why are you reading your own books?” And he would reply “Because I didn’t write these books. It was Krishna. He helped me. So, I became Krishna’s dictaphone. And then I would record what I heard into my own dictaphone. How dare anybody think that they can change my books!”

Sometimes I wake up in shock by the dreams I still have about this experience in Srila Prabhupada’s room so many years ago.

I shared this experience with the GBC approximately 15 years ago. I was informed that there was a vote about whether to keep Prabhupada’s books as they were or to allow changes. I was told that by one GBC vote only the decision was passed to allow edits and changes. …

…Both myself and my wife Vishalini, now in our mid to late 70s, attempt to go out as many days as possible to distribute Srila Prabhupada’s original books. …”